Correction

Make that 164 ratings.

In Response

Well I've just been informed in a rather roundabout manner that I have another competitor in the beer world: my good friend Cliff Bilbrey. Apparently he frequents the Flying Saucer in Addison, TX. Little does he know (or does he) that I too have visited the Flying Saucer. In fact, it was the location of my very first beer gathering. Yes, a group of us sat there from all over Texas, Oklahoma, and beyond and sampled way too many beers. I think I may have had one or two from the Saucer, the rest was from stuff we brought.

I also learned that Cliff has tasted 154 beers thus far. I was a bit concerned at first so I had to check my stats. I'm safely ahead with 163 tastings and, amazingly, ratings. That may sound like a lot but not really. I know individuals with many more.

In light of this new discovery, I have added two new sections to the "sidebar" area of this site: "beer (recent ratings)" and "beer (more)". The recent ratings will be updated periodically (manually, unfortunately) and are linked to the full rating at RateBeer.com. The more section is currently pretty bare and contains only a link to my full ratings list on RateBeer.

This new discovery has also prompted me to reinvigorate my beer rating pace. Come to think of it, I have two beers in the apartment right now that I haven't rated. Do I dare when I have to work tomorrow? Well, I'll try one and see how I feel...

Jack is Back + Essay

Jack Bletta the Black Jetta is now safely back in my possession. After a month in the shop, everything looks better than it did before. OK, almost everything. Apparently one of the clips that holds the bumper shell (new, by the way) to whatever is underneath it has come loose or broken off or something so it's not quite flush. So...I'm going back to the body shop tomorrow (my day off) to have them look at it and hopefully fix it. I'm a bit nervous about letting them keep my car for any extended period of time, even if there are no parts to order for this particular issue.

My new job is going well. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing: sitting at my desk, playing on the internet, and drinking coffee. Occasionally I might open an account, help a customer balance their checkbook, or order some checks. But most of the time I'm just a warm body. My loan training should commence soon...and then I'll actually have goals to meet. Oooh, goals.

And now, an essay on happiness. It's been a while since I wrote an essay and I suppose this isn't an essay in any academic sense. I haven't done any research, I have no outside sources, and I haven't written an outline. This is an off-the-cuff assessment of what it means to be happy based on my own limited life experiences.

An Essay on Happiness

Some might assume that I am not a happy person. I complain a lot, mostly about little things. The way people drive, the way my sister seems to never be able to clean up after herself, etc. Sometimes I complain about more substantial things, like the way I'm working a job that isn't quite what I had envisioned for myself, or the way I'm always running short on money, etc. But with all of that complaining, I maintain that I'm a happy person.

For me, happiness and satisfaction are two totally separate yet somehow related states of being. Just like you can love someone but not necessary like them (or vice versa), I believe that you can be satisfied with a situation but not necessarily be happy with it, or happy but not entirely satisfied. Happiness, in my estimation, is a state of mind and is more internal and psychological in nature. Conversely, satisfaction is rooted in reality. For example, I am happy with where I am right in my life right now. I have a job, a home, a family, a mode of transportation. Sure, I may not be doing what I dreamed I'd be or what I eventually want to do, but to me that just means that I am dissatisfied with my current situation. I may be dissatisfied with the way my sister doesn't pick up after herself or the way she goes out at all hours of the night, and being a human being I tend to focus on the negative and complain about these things I am dissatisfied with. But upon further examination, when I consider all of the things that my sister does that dissatisfy me and compare them with all the things she does that don't dissatisfy me, I think the positives outweigh the negatives. Thus, while I might be dissatisfied with her conduct, I am in the end still happy with my current living arrangements. I know that my sister loves me, that she would do anything for me if I needed her to, and this overpowers any amount of complaining I might do. Thus I am both dissatisfied and happy. Weird, I know.

The same goes for my job. I don't mind working for a bank. It's a good job and it's certainly better than flipping burgers or walking the aisles at Best Buy. Sure, I could make more money doing other things, and I could work toward advancement at the bank by taking classes and focusing on an education (and thus a career) in business and banking. But to me the bank is not a career. It's a job. The very idea of a career scares me and to be honest I don't think I'm the type of person that will someday find a job and say "this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." Right now my career goal is to work in the area of higher education student services. If and when I eventually get around to this, will I want to do it until the day I retire? Probably not. I could probably take five years of any one thing and then feel the need to move on. What's so appealing about higher education student services (as opposed to banking) is that the field includes so much variety. Banking is banking no matter what you're doing, whether it's being a teller, a personal banker, or a loan officer. I was a good teller and now I'm turning out to be a decent banker and I'm sure I could succeed as a loan officer. Still, there's not much variety to be had. The very fact that higher education student services encompasses so much - housing, recruitment, counseling, leadership development, event planning - creates an appeal that, to me, is stronger than banking. That said, I'm in no particular hurry to move on from banking. As I've already stated, I'm happy. Not completely satisfied, but happy. I have everything I need. Granted, you could probably put me in the middle of Siberia with a computer and high-speed internet access and I'd be just fine for a while.

Lots of people tell me that I'm young and that, considering I have no real commitments, that I shouldn't be restrained by the status quo. That if I wanted to pick up and restart my life somewhere else, or make an attempt to pick up where I left off, then nothing should stop me from doing it. Indeed, what's to stop me from picking up and moving to Iowa, or Oklahoma, or wherever? Sure, the practical issues. A job, a place to live. A few clicks on the internet and I can have hundreds of job and apartment listings in front of me. A few weeks and I could have a pretty good life set up where ever I want. I like that possibility which is why I'm in no hurry to "settle down." I'll be happy no matter what I'm doing. Sure, I might still complain, I may never be able to tweak things so that I'm totally satisfied, but why should I let that stand in the way of my happiness? Why should I put on a facade for everyone else just so I can give the impression of being satisfied? I'll be the first to admit: I'm not satisfied. But I'm also not unhappy. A positive attitude and a drive to always want to tweak those little things to make them better can go a long way. And this is more than just "making the best of a situation." If I just make the best of what I'm unsatisfied with, then I'm just living a lie. And doing that would definitely make me unhappy. I'm much happier admitting that I'm unsatisfied and being truthful with myself. I have no doubt that I could build quite a life for myself even while being unsatisfied, but putting up all those walls would only increase the chances of them crumbling and then I'd be left with nothing.

So, when people ask me how my new job is going, what do I say? Do I go into a long speech about how I'm happy with it but it's not quite my cup of tea? No. I say everything is going great. I'm learning new things, I'm connecting with my customers, I'm making my manager feel as if she made the right decision when she hired me. Just because it's not my ideal job - just because I'm not completely satisfied - doesn't mean that that I can't take pleasure in doing well at it. Yesterday, the assistant manager at one of our other branches came to my location to get into her safe deposit box. About a month and a half ago, I applied for a senior teller position at her branch. She turned me down. A week later, I applied for my current position (relationship banker) and got it. When I took her to the vault to let her in, she congratulated me on my new position and proceeded to tell me why she didn't hire me. She said that when I interviewed, she knew that I was, in her words, "past the point" of being a senior teller. And what did she put on the form that goes back to human resources as to the reason she didn't hire me? "He needs to be a relationship banker." This makes me feel good. Just because my current job isn't what I really want to do, I'm still happy about the fact that I'm good at it and that people appreciate me.

Some might say that I'm just deluding myself into thinking that I'm happy or making the best out of a less-than-ideal situation. This may be true, but I think the most important thing is that I'm honest with myself and I'm living in the present. Sure, I long for my 5+ years of college. Those were good times with too many friends to count and more fun than I've had since. But dwelling on that and making it a focal point of my existence won't bring it back and would only drag down those around me. I've moved on and I can't go back. Sure, I could eventually move back to Oklahoma but I can't let myself believe that it could ever be like it was. It can't, it won't. No regrets, no longing for something that can never be again. What's important is now and how I can make now better. This is what drives me, this is what keeps me happy.

Yes, I'm happy. Yes, I want a lot of things - a better apartment, more money, a new car, the list goes on - but none of that would change the way I feel about myself and the people I love (and you know who you are). That's what happiness is all about, no matter what situation I find myself in or how satisfied I am with it. Satisfaction may be elusive but happiness shouldn't be.

Essay Complete

OK, well, I started writing over an hour ago. That was harder than I thought it would be. I invite comments about my happiness philosophy. I realize it needs a bit of work and perhaps a bit more fleshing out, but I think it's a good starting point. And I got a lot of stuff off my chest that I needed to. If you want to provide a response, rebuttal, etc., please feel free to do so. Just click on "Post a Comment" below. No fear, non-Blogger members. Anonymous comments are accepted. Good night.